From Fear to Hope

Last weekend my family experienced a frightful and very unexpected emergency.  No worries, we are all fine now.  But last weekend I woke up in the wee hours of the morning from painful contractions.  My body had begun going into labor.  I was 29 weeks.  At first it was terrifying.  I was awake and battling the pain alone.  Then Brandon and I were rushing 30 miles into town to get to the hospital’s birthing center as fast as we could.  Between the agonizing pain and words such as “dilating”, “preterm labor”, “NICU”, “c-section”, “airlifted”, and “ambulance” my heart was pounding and my mind was spinning.  It felt like it was all happening so fast.  Before I knew it I was being poked at, tested, monitored, examined, and then told I would be airlifted to another hospital capable of caring for an infant born at 29 weeks gestation.  I was trembling and crying.  Then I was whisked away, strapped onto a gurney, and being loaded in the back of an ambulance.  I watched Brandon wave goodbye to me as he held my belongings outside the hospital.

As I was being transported to the airport and then flying to the hospital, I realized how great the EMT’s were.  I could have given birth right there on that tiny airplane and know without a doubt they would have been able to take great care of me and Leilani.  Thankfulness and humility came over me.  We had over 8 nurses and doctors tending to us at the hospital in Klamath.  Then 4 EMT’s and an EMT pilot dropping everything to make sure I made it safely to the hospital in Medford.  And again at the hospital in Medford we had 4 nurses and 2 doctors caring for us.  These people are trained and give their time to their jobs, and their job that day was to keep me pregnant.  All these pieces of a puzzle coming together to help me.  We even bumped into some familiar faces and family of some friends.  Little blessings in the midst of the storm.

After much medication, monitoring, and more testing, my contractions slowed down and labor was stopped.  I began to feel hope.  Nothing else mattered except the fact that I would be able to stay pregnant and Leilani would be able to continue to grow safely inside.  Although the doctors still have no idea why this whole thing began, they gave me hope that with caution and lots of care, I could make it to full term.

Its been a week and facing that terrifying experience has given me a new perspective.  When the sky is falling in my household, dinner is burning, kiddos are whining, and I haven’t had a moment of silence all day long, well…. at least I am still pregnant.  God’s grace and mercy is bigger than my daily struggles.  I am reminded to take life day by day, and to trust in the Lord.


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